Diet culture is a system of oppression that disproportionately harms anyone who doesn’t match up with its assumed picture of “health”.  Being fat is not a bad thing in and of itself. However, this cultural construct demonizes and oppresses people in larger bodies resulting in a deep fear of weight gain for many. The fear and shame perpetuated by diet culture can make it difficult to accept our bodies through weight gain. But it’s important to remember diet culture’s system of beliefs does not follow automatically from biology or physiology, but instead represents the ideas, biases, and practices of a group of people. Weight gain is a fact of life and it isn’t the death sentence our culture makes it out to be. Being fat or gaining weight does not define who you are as a person, change your value as a human being, or determine your health. With that foundation, you can learn how to accept your body through weight gain.

Weight gain is a normal part of life

There are many stages in our life cycle when gaining weight is exactly what our bodies are physiologically designed to do. Babies double their birth weight by 5 months old. Children typically gain weight before every spurt of growth in their height. Puberty brings about more weight gain and we see it again in our early twenties. Our body takes care of us by storing fat during pregnancy and menopause. Weight gain is also often a normal part of eating disorder recovery. All of these examples of weight gain bring about growth, protection, and health. Weight gain is a normal part of life.

When weight gain is a sign that something is off

Sometimes weight gain is a sign that something is off.  If you’re experiencing weight gain and you’re not in a physiological stage of life that naturally brings about weight gain or you’re rapidly gaining weight it may be a symptom of a medical condition or an unbalanced season of life. There are medical issues that may cause weight gain; such as hypothyroidism. Weight gain is a side effect of some prescriptions and treatments. Weight gain can also be a sign that we are living out of alignment with the principles of intuitive eating. Over the last two years I was in a new season of life. Taking care of a 1-3 year old while creating my blog, online courses, coaching clients, and in the last year working as a long-term care dietitian. I was constantly wrestling with prioritizing self-care, work, or family. I knew I was ignoring my bodies signals more and more often. As time went on I noticed more joint stiffness, less cardiovascular endurance, less strength, more headaches, more melancholy feelings and frustration. Then I began to recognize my body moving away from my set point weight. I bought a completely new wardrobe twice in the last year and I met the situation with these truths.

How to accept your body through weight gain

No matter the cause of the weight gain, keep these truths at the forefront of your mind:

MERCY (forgiveness, enduring love, steadfast loyalty).

I accept Gods’ gift of mercy and then I give myself the same gift. I forgive myself for living out of alignment with my values in some ways. I also spent time reflecting on the positive aspect of this season in life. I reminded myself that I was loving on my baby to best of my ability, I congratulated myself for working so hard on things I was passionate about, etc.

Intentional weight loss doesn’t work.

Research shows that intentional weight loss fails 95-97% of the time. We are not biologically designed to lose weight and keep it off. Those who are able to lose weight and keep it off long-term often do so through a disordered relationship with food and exercise.   Click here to learn 6 reasons we need to drop faith-based weight loss plans. Click here to learn more about my weight neutral approach to health.

I don’t have to lose weight to pursue health (have more energy etc.).

Weight gain may be a symptom of something going on, but it is probably not the cause. In my case I just needed to start making movement a priority again. No weight loss required. Getting in alignment with all 10 principles of intuitive eating will bring about many health benefits regardless of your weight.   Click here to learn more about the 10 principles of intuitive eating.

The goal is not body love but rather body neutrality.

Extreme love or hatred of one’s body are both examples of idolatry.  The goal is to have a respect for our body that moves us to care for it by integrating instinct, emotion, and rational thought.

Responding to weight gain with acceptance and grace

If weight gain is a sign that something is off and you can pinpoint what is going on you can always choose to make some changes. If that is the case remember;

Don’t get attached to a size or aesthetic outcome.

These are things we truly cannot control long-term. Making them goals eventually leaves us disheartened. It is better to choose things we have control over to make goals. Such as how often we move, or including more food variety.

The main goal is availability to serve God.

Caring for ourselves is essential to the Christian life because it allows us to better care for others. Biblical self-care is not a practice that makes us good or bad people. Rather, it is a practice that, when led by the Holy Spirit, fills our cups and equips us to live out the specific purpose God has for us in this life.   Learn more about Biblical self-care here.

Accept your body as it is now. Yes, even with the weight gain.

I often hear women proclaim that after they lose weight they will respect their body through caring for it. The reality is that the exact opposite is true. When we accept our bodies just as they are the desire to care for them well grows in our hearts. That is the beauty of God’s grace. He accepts us just as we are and from that unconditional love an acceptance blooms the desire to please Him, the desire to grow.   Check out these strategies to find and accept the set point weight God created for Your body. No matter the size of your body, the amount of weight gain you experience, or the root cause behind it you are a beloved child of God. You are good. You are worthy. You are forgiven, accepted, and celebrated; every inch of you.

I leave you with the full serenity prayer from Celebrate Recovery.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen  – Reinhold Niebuhr